Interview with a Vamp

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Updated: 06/27/05.

Interview With a Vampire?

October 2003 issue of Leaflet

by H.B. Huisinga, CSI, CCCA, LEED AP

Leaflet's newest European field correspondent, Screamin' Kelly Green has traveled to Budapest via her broom to speak with none other than world-semi-famous Veridian Vamp to get you the most up to date green Halloween tips for the upcoming holiday.

SKG: Hello, Everyone! I'm here with Veridian Vamp, the most famous green vampire of them all. I'm hoping that Veridian can give us some spook-tacular tips for making our Halloween holiday more eco conscious. Thank you for taking a few minutes out of your night to visit with us.

VV: Alvayz a pleazure, Mz. Green. I'm happy to zee you rode your broom in. That'z my favorite method of green tranzportation.

SKG: Really!?! Vampires ride brooms?

VV: Oh, yez. It'z a novelty thing. In fact, in the latest ztraw poll they vere quite popular. Our wingz get tired, you zee.

SKG: How fascinating. Veridian, the Halloween Holiday is celebrated in many different ways. What is your view on Halloween?

VV: Vell, I would have to zay that thiz time of year iz my favourite. Although, zere iz a lot of vaste that happenz, no?

SKG: No? Yes? I mean, I would assume so. Could you give us some examples?

VV: Over-packaging of thoze tazty treatz for all thoze varm-bodied children, for one. It'z zuch a vaste. If I could, I vould tell their parentz to zearch for treatz vith the leazt amount of packaging. Couponz make very good alternative giftz. I, personally, vould like a gift zertificate to the local blood bank. I am due for a vithdrawl.

SKG: Um, (gulp), thanks for the tip, Veridian.

VV: Holiday partiez alzo create a lot of vaste. Varm-bodied perzonz should know to minimize party vaste az much az pozible.

SKG: Like looking for recycled content in disposable items?

VV: Yez, and uzing reuzable table vare ven pozible. That iz one of the bezt thingz about being a vampire…not having to zet the table for a znack.

SKG: Those are certainly good tips. Do I have something on my neck?

VV: Uh, no. Zorry, occupational hazard.

SKG: Uh-huh. I'm also wondering what costume you have chosen for Halloween?

VV: Vell, I've given it much thought. My good friend, Vlad Tsepesh, has invited me to hiz annual coztume ball "Monzter Mash". You know avter the American zong, it'z Dracula'z favourite. It'z been a hit for many centuriez. Thiz year, I think I've got the bezt coztume idea from my friend Garrick Maine…I'm going as Elvira, Miztress of the Dark.

SKG: What a…bleeding performance that will be.

VV: I'm planning on uzing some fabulous fabric from my grandmother's stash of old clothes. It'z much more efficient than buying a new coztume I'd juzt throw avay later.

SKG: I wish I could see you in your costume. I'm sure you'll be the belle of the ball.

VV: Your velcome to come to the party, Mz. Green.

SKG: Really? That'd be swell.

VV: Oh, yez. Ve're alvayz looking for fresh blood…

SKG: Oh, goodness, I just remembered. My entire family always puts on a haunted house in our family barn. They'll notice if I'm not there. I mean, shucks! I'd hate to miss a legendary party like Vlad's. Uh, moving on…how do you plan to decorate your castle for this occasion?

VV: Vith many, many Jack-o'-Lanterns. They'll scare off any monzterz that vander my vay while stupefying un-zuspecting touriztz. Avter the holiday, I'll compozt my pumpkinz for uze in my garden next year. I alzo plan to uze un-scented candlez. The zented onez have too many chemical additivez. The other decorationz I uze have the highest recycled content I can find. For tazty treatz, I'm baking pumpkin zeedz and minz meat pie. It'z not really to my tazte, but my varm-bodied friendz enjoy them zo.

SKG: Those are all great ideas. Unfortunately, I see that dawn is approaching. I lost all track of time. You've been such a wonderful hostess, is there anything else you'd like to share with our readers?

VV: Yez, make zure that your little darlingz vear zum kind of bright clothing or take a flashlight vith them--ve vouldn't vant them to be hidden from view. Juzt remember to uze recyclable batteriez. They should alzo remember not to take candy from ztrangerz. But mozt of all, have a zafe and happy Halloween!

SKG: Thank you Veridian and same to you. Please stop looking at my neck!